Is it just me, or does being married and raising children totally side-swipe you sometimes to the point where you don’t even know who you are anymore?
It is so so easy when you are constantly focusing on taking care of everyone else to forget about YOU.
I came to a crashing point about a year ago when I realized I was miserable and that I didn’t even know what I liked anymore.
What did I enjoy doing anymore?
What were my hobbies?
What did I need to stay sane in life?
Who was I anymore?
When I was single, it was easy for me to answer those questions.
I was a manager at a country club.
- I liked my job
- I liked working
- I loved tanning
- I loved summer time
- I enjoyed reading books for learning and entertainment purposes
- I loved working out at the gym
- I liked cooking and trying new recipes
- I loved cleaning my condo apartment
- I loved organizing
- I liked going for walks down by the huge lake
- I loved journaling
- I liked being able to take care of myself and learn new things
- I liked getting dressed up and doing my hair and makeup
But then I got married, and everything changed.
I left my job because I wanted to become a housewife and mom. And the idea was amazing at first. And I still stand by my choice and LOVE being a housewife and mom.
But somewhere along the way, I completely forgot and lost that touch with myself and the things I loved and who I was.
Life became all about raising my son and being the perfect housewife. It became about making my husband happy and keeping my child entertained. It became about doing everything right and causing the least amount of issues in life.
But that wasn’t living. That was living hell.
Don’t get me wrong—– I LOVE BEING A HOUSEWIFE and taking care of my family. There is nothing else I want more in life — EXCEPT TO KNOW WHO I AM and live according to that knowledge!
So that is where I landed about a year ago —— wanting to remember who I am as a person. What I liked in life. What my hobbies were. What I wanted to do in my life to stay sane.
But it took a long time —– way longer than I imagined it would.
So how did I figure out who I was and what I liked and what I didn’t want to do anymore?
I was blessed with several weeks of alone time this past summer when my son went to visit family, and my husband was gone at work all day long.
The first thing I did was reach out to my best friend who totally gets me, understands me, accepts me for who I am, and lets me me think, feel, and be who I am with her. And I talked to her about it, and throughout the conversations I discovered what was hidden deep down inside.
There is something about talking it through with someone you can trust that opens up what’s inside you! Do you feel what I’m saying?
Next, I simply woke up each day with no certain agenda (except the usual cleaning and chores) and I let myself just wander into the things I loved to do.
When I didn’t know what to do with my time, I simply sat outside in the sun, or in my living room recliner and stared out the window until what I wanted to do came to mind. This little step worked wonders for me!
Next, I let myself just be who I am, and accepted myself for who I am and the things I enjoy doing and I felt such amazing peace with my life and self.
So to recap:
- I took a much needed ALONE TIME break in life without any distractions from children
- I reached out to talk it through with my bff
- I let myself naturally gravitate to what I love and enjoy doing
- I accepted myself for who I really am
So what did I discover in this time?
- I love cleaning
- I love cooking
- I love canning food
- I love going for walks
- I love sitting out/being out in the sunshine
- I love growing my own veggies
- I still love working out
- I LOVE stretching/doing yoga
- I still love reading for entertainment/learning purposes
- I still like journaling
- I seriously enjoy sitting in complete quietness and just soaking in it
- I love meditating
- Still love organizing!
- I like being alone
- I love scrapbooking/junk journaling
- I like watching interesting documentaries
The main thing that I learned about myself, though, is that IT’S OKAY TO BE WHO I AM!!!!
There was a time in my life where it wasn’t okay to be who I was. I set all kinds of expectations on myself to do and be something I am just NOT.
And that was the greatest thing I learned—– I don’t have to be what I’m not! I can be who I am and enjoy life the way I am meant to enjoy it!
I hope you will too! Give yourself a much needed break, and reconnect with who you are!! You won’t regret it!
Leave a comment about what you love about yourself and life!
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